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by bradlys
1676 days ago
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> But, I don't think this advantage necessarily translates to a higher probability of establishing long-term relationships. At least in my circle - it does. The men who want to have long term relationships can and do. The men who don't - don't. At the very least - all parties can have their carnal desires satisfied at a moment's notice without any judgement. > Maintaining health/fitness, focusing on work/education, and developing a strong personality are all actions that have a high return on investment in areas of life outside of dating. Anyone would benefit from doing all of these things regardless of how necessary they are to obtain casual sex. I think to some extent they translate but I'd say that for most straight men - they really only do it because they want a partner. If they had the choice then they wouldn't bother. While some of these translate in other areas - they don't translate as strongly as in dating. Higher income/NW doesn't mean shit if you have to spend all your life alone. Health/fitness just means you live longer alone. For the overwhelming majority of men - they rather die than be alone (one of the reasons why the suicide rate among men is so much higher than for women). This is where they are very different from women who are completely content with dying alone. |
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> Gay, bisexual, and other men who have sex with men are at even greater risk for suicide attempts, especially before the age of 25. A study of youth in grades 7-12 found that lesbian, gay, and bisexual youth were more than twice as likely to have attempted suicide as their heterosexual peers. Some risk factors are linked to being gay or bisexual in a hostile environment and the effects that this has on mental health.
https://www.cdc.gov/msmhealth/suicide-violence-prevention.ht...
While there are gay men who have successful long-term relationships, there are also many gay men who encounter substantial cultural and legal obstacles that interfere with their day-to-day lives and their ability to establish long-term relationships. Not every gay man gets to enjoy the same positive outcomes as the ones in your social circle.
The Bay Area (mentioned in your HN profile description) is a very LGBT-friendly location, and the people in your circle show the potential of gay men in a more accepting environment. Your opinion seems more reasonable in that context. But, LGBT people in the Bay Area are not representative of the LGBT population at large, many of whom face challenges specific to their sexual orientation that decrease their quality of life, with ramifications much greater than casual sex.