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by refurb 1676 days ago
Interesting comment on appreciation. It’s not easy by any means and I’ve found myself fall into thought patterns where I start to feel like I’ve been cheated by life.

But at least for me, a lot of it is driven by distraction. Work becomes overwhelming. Or family becomes too hard to juggle. So caught up in what’s in front of you that you lose the big picture.

Where I’ve found clarity is in the “being present mindset”. Giving my son a bath and noticing just how much he changes everyday and what that experience must be like for him reminds me that time is fleeting. Often what we value most in the future are the experiences of the past. And taking the time to truly connect with my son will be one of those things I’ll look back on in 10 years and truly appreciate that I took that time.

And don’t get me wrong. The hedonistic treadmill is the reason we went to the moon. Never being satisfied will drive humanity to do incredible things, but it will also drive people to depression. It’s neither good nor bad but just is. Acknowledging that and seeing it in yourself can help immensely.

2 comments

I don't disagree with what you are saying but you are saying it to the wrong person.

I am acutely aware how fleeting time is, believe me. It's just that most of my life I've been way too stressed to do anything about that. It's a death spiral.

If you came to me 5 years ago and told me "just relax, man, take your time" you'd likely receive a fist to the face and I'd yell at you: "THAT'S NOT AT ALL HELPFUL RIGHT NOW, SHUT UP!".

You likely live in an environment where realizing the things you mention is 99% of the battle so your advice is optimized towards that. You have to understand however that in most of the world the 99% of the battle is not being smart of understanding these things; most people around me are well-aware of them by the time they hit 23 at the most. Our 99% of the battle is allocating the time and energy to live in the present and just manage to have any leisure at all.

For many us just stopping to smell the flowers is physically impossible because we'd lose valuable capital (in one form or another) if we do it even for 30 minutes. Yep, I am not exaggerating, my life has been hell in the past.

So don't get me wrong as well -- your perspective is valuable. Just not to me and to many others who found that out ages ago and are now extremely saddened because they can't employ this wisdom yet.

Currently in my life I am fighting tooth and nail to be able to start living my life under the principles you mention. It's the hardest thing I ever did but IMO it's worth fighting that battle.

Oh I’m certainly not telling you it’s a solution or that it’s easy (and I think you get that). It’s just what has worked for me (based on my own perceptions).
> Often what we value most in the future are the experiences of the past.

Thank you for this phrase.