[bko]

I took less than the allotted time. I was bored sitting at home. Much of the first 3 months is feeding the baby, something I am physically unequipped to do.

I enjoy work and the comradery of my co-workers. I was working from home anyway, so there was no long commute. And it gave me something to do. I'm a programmer. I like my work. It gives me an outlet for my creativity and allows me to bond with co-workers. And I care about the product and deliverables I'm working on. I don't like letting my coworkers down as they cover for me.

I took another 2 weeks after my wife went back to work.

[paulryanrogers]

I felt similar after the first child. But the reality for my SO is that it was harder on them because of all the other non-baby chores I couldn't do when working.

So for the second child I had to get VP approval to take a whopping 3 weeks (unlimited* PTO, technically no paternity leave). That was essential because now there was childcare, chores, and baby care involved. It should've been more like 8w.

[bko]

That's fair. I was working from home and tried to do a lot more of the non-baby chores, like cleaning and cooking. We're also fortunate enough to have paid cleaners. But it didn't require me to take any more time off work. I would log off relatively early. I think sitting around not doing anything or screwing around on my computer not at work would just annoy my partner more. But I know some people have a lot more chores

[paulryanrogers]

Good points. We had a house to maintain, family was further away, and no paid help. Another big factor is C-section recovery can be a lot longer than natural birth. It is major surgery.