[emptysongglass]

That's just obsession and has nothing to do with your status as asexual or not. Everyone is prone to obsessive feelings but they're not companions of love.

I think you're actually the one that's pushing a semantics game here as in societies which are broadly liberal (let's say most Western cultures for sake of argument), sex is the hook that gets you to love. You generally don't start with love and then lust later.

[smeej]

I don't think my experience is at all uncommon among women.

It's extremely common for me that I will love someone first for who he is and only develop lustful feelings later.

Perhaps men routinely begin with lust. Perhaps women do too. But starting with love and lusting later is also common.