[egypturnash]

It could work even if the kidnapper knew it in cases like this:

* kidnapper distracted by other things

* kidnapper distracted by having been on the road long enough to be spending all their energy on "not falling asleep" and "paying attention to the road ahead"

* victim in back seat, partially hidden

* kidnapper has temporarily left victim alone in a place they feel confident flight is unlikely

If it starts to become too popular then once stories start spreading of victims who managed to escape despite their kidnapper noticing them using this sign, then new signs will be suggested and circulated. Asking a bartender/waitress if they can make a particular (nonexistant) drink. Blinking in a certain cadence. Crossing your arms and tapping your upper arm five times. Whatever. Language evolves.

I've been in the women's bathroom in bars and seen signs posted out of view from outside that say "if you need help escaping from the person you are with, say this innocuous but specific phrase to the staff". This was long before TikTok existed, and maybe before this gesture existed - I dunno, maybe I just never got shown it.

[scoopertrooper]

The problem with all these sertipious signals is that there would essentially be so many of them that all kind of innocuous behaviour could be misinterpreted and people would become unsure and it'd all come full circle. It'd end up in comedic farce.

With regards to the bar examples, they may work in a constrained context where the victim is familiar with the venue. They wouldn't work in the case of victim being transported around under the control of their attacker.

[egypturnash]

The bar example works absolutely fine for someone unfamiliar with the venue: you go to the bathroom as you normally would, and you see a sign in there that says "hey if you're in trouble do this and we will help you out", then you come back out and you do that.

There is a sweet spot between "enough people know what this signal means for it to be worth using" and "so many people know this that my adversary knows it too". The signal this kid used may be about to cross the upper threshold soon, but it worked for her.

Surreptitious and obscured communication channels have been being created and getting detected for most of human history. Look at the continuing cycle of teenage subcultures creating slang to perform the dual function of marking a member of the group and obscuring one's plans from one's parents; look at Thieves' Cant; look at histories and manuals of spycraft. And those spycraft books will probably have suggestions on what to do if you're in a situation where signals just aren't viable, too; signals are one tool.