[madamelic]

> The way I see it, if "let's talk when you get a minute" comes across as spooky that means you already have a communication breakdown and mistrust has already blossomed.

I talked with a former boss about this (in a good way): trust. I always think about this when thinking about my relationship with an employer: do I trust them to do right by me? Typically when the answer is "no", I know it's time to leave.

You need to build and maintain trust in the relationship. It doesn't need to be on a friend level but you need to have built trust that your boss is watching your back and wants the best for you as a person.

Then if a hard discussion needs to occur, even if it doesn't end in termination, the discussion can begin at a place of "how do _we_ solve this" rather than having to work on an unstable and untrusting platform.

[vlunkr]

I think I have a really good boss, but at the end of the day, it's an imbalanced relationship. He holds my salary in his hands, I think some fear is natural.

[redisman]

Even if you trust your boss, do you also go for drinks with the CFO and CTO on the weekends? Have cookouts with the VP of engineering? Join the board meetings where they decide to kill your region? In the end a middle manager is just a small cog with most everything out of their control. Having a decent relationship is as good as it gets but it’s hardly a safeguard against much of anything