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I lost my Mom to cancer several years ago. I'm really sorry you have to go through this. 0) make sure legal stuff is taken care of, like her medical directive, a family trust, and a will. It won't be a fun discussion, but make sure you know what she wants, especially with respect to what life-extending efforts she wants you to do. 1) her doctor harangued us to perform extremely invasive, expensive, late-stage treatments, even though it would, best case, extend her mostly vegetative state a month or two. If you're their medical executor, don't get bullied. It helps to have someone else to collaborate decisions with. 2) give yourself some slack, emotionally. You may feel guilty that you aren't feeling "the right thing," or feeling "sad enough," or burdening people around you by feeling "too sad." _Whatever you're feeling is legitimate._ 3) take care of yourself. Eat well, try to get good sleep, and get regular exercise. You may not want to, but you deserve to maintain your own health. 4) try to record any family-famous stories she has to share, or really any historical anecdotes that may spark joy. Just a couple minutes every other day—it doesn't need to be a big ordeal. Seeing and hearing her in a decade will be priceless. |