| I helped care for my mom somewhat last 2 years until she passed in March. First of all fuck work. Your family comes first - you’re dealing with a once in a lifetime type situation and we only have our parents so long. If work or your boss isn’t OK with the level of flexibility and time off you need, they’re borderline monsters IMO. They should be willing to work with you and renegotiate your situation. Also I’m really sorry. It’s a roller coaster ride of hope and you frankly don’t know where you’ll end up. It’s hard to know even week to week what kind of help you’ll need to give. One week may be normal and another all over the place. ok finally some tips Remote work - I worked from home and took full advantage of the flexibility. Up to working odd hours and napping when need be. My mom often was sitting in the hospital asleep for days. Really there would be nothing for me to do but work until she needed me. Take family time - It’s sad to say, these times can be an opportunity. Be closer to your mom and family. Plan last minute trips as her treatment allows. Enjoy what you can from them. We have such great memories of my moms time with us towards the end with last minute house rentals where we just hung out. Care for yourself - feel your emotions as much as you can. Journal. Exercise. Take mental health days. Do what you need to do to process. This includes coping with your feelings about mortality and death. Get help - you can’t do it all. Seek support from other family members as much as possible. Fulfillment in caring for those that need us - my mom felt awful being cared for by us. But I told her caring for someone with serious or terminal illness, while a lot of work, is a bit like caring for your child. You do it cause you want to and out of love. It’s fulfilling to give what you can of yourself to this person that’s given you so much. And we’ll all be there someday, it’s part of the circle of life. We will need our families support. We’re all interconnected and sometimes we’re strong and other times need lots of support. |