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The timing of this post is too real. I'm so sorry to hear that. It's likely not any solace, but I've gone through and am currently going through something similar. I'm working as a software engineer and I love solving problems but in this situation I'm absolutely helpless and I'm incapable of contributing in the slightest. It feels horrible. It can be hard to focus at work, but it is a distraction. My mother just beat breast cancer not too long ago, it was a very long road, numerous surgeries, chemotherapy, an insane amount of pills, appointments, it's been hard. In the spring she was declared cancer free, we threw a party, everyone had a great summer, planned a few trips, but come this fall noticed something wasn't quite right with balance. Dropped her off for a simple checkup. Maybe she just needed some physical therapy? Didn't hear back from her for a few days. They did an MRI and some tests. I get a call from her a few days later. Turns out now she's got brain cancer. It's in the pons. No surgeon will touch it, they can't even biopsy it because any mistake can prevent breathing or other critical functions. They still can't figure out where it came from. She got sent to Mayo for research and pulling at team together. Her symptoms quickly got worse, blurred vision, losing control of her entire left side, so they immediately started radiation. We don't know where it's going to go from here because they don't know what to do. To make matters worse she's a teacher that almost got to retirement and is fighting every day with paperwork and countless calls and administrative offices to deal with insurance benefits, COBRA, pension, and disability. She used up all PTO and whatever benefits to get through breast cancer. It's a mess. To answer your question, I don't know. I spend a lot of time at the gym and trying to occupy my mind with other things but it doesn't always work. |