| Oh man, quite the history for me here. My dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer when I was 18/19 (freshman year in college). My mother was diagnosed with lymphoma when I was 21/22 (senior year). Both of them went through some combination of chemotherapy/radiation/etc. - I honestly don't remember every detail. Both went into remission for a period of time. My mother was then again diagnosed with lymphoma (it came back) during my mid 20's, went through treatment, and recovered (still in remission). One last lash of cancer hit her in my 30's but was quickly resolved through a single mastectomy. It was my mother's second round of lymphoma that strained us all the most. She felt like garbage for what seemed like an endless amount of time. That coincided with an extraordinarily period of time at work in my early-ish career. I don't recall telling my boss at the time. She was a wreck, we were a wreck. I wouldn't wish that combination on anyone. So, I was mentally and emotionally drained because of my mom's situation but didn't do a good job articulating that to anyone. I was performing poorly at work but don't think I mentioned any of this to my boss. I am sure I seemed like a wreck and certainly performed in various aspects of life as if something was off. Looking back at it all, I have three points of advice:
1. Tell people about your situation so that they aren't misinformed about your overall state (good or bad). 2. As cromulent said, use the help that's offered. You probably aren't as functional as you want to be. Let people help you. 3. Finally, don't think about telling people "not to worry" about you. They will anyways. The people who will ask you questions and support you are the people you want nearby, even if you don't feel that way some or all days. My hunch is you'll ultimately feel better the more you let people in rather than trying to find ways to keep your guard high. |