[tiahura]

Mom was diagnosed 13 years ago and passed away two weeks ago.

Go to her oncologist appointments.

Chemo sucks. Make sure your mom is doing everything nutrition and fitness related she can to be otherwise as healthy as possible. Check out the recent research regarding fasting + chemo. Oncologists will wince the first time you mention fasting. Explain that you’re not telling mom to stop chemo, just that you’ve read about studies showing good results when combined with chemo or radiation.

If appropriate for her type of cancer, push for genetic profiling.

Find out who is doing immunotherapy for her type.

[lostapathy]

> Go to her oncologist appointments.

This may or may not be possible. I went through cancer treatment earlier in the COVID pandemic and I was not allowed to have anyone with me at either my appointments or treatments, other than one early oncology visit where they wanted to make sure I had somebody else who knew what I was in for and understood what circumstances merited hauling me to the ER.

Honestly, I think that was better for me - but recognize that others will definitely feel differently. My wife wished she could come to me with treatment every day, and still feels bad that she couldn't, but I'm glad she couldn't come. Chemo is hard. But being there alone, I could zone out (and sometimes even sleep!) without feeling like I needed to put on a decent face or even be awake to make it worth a visitors time.

[tiahura]

I wasn’t clear. I’m not suggesting sitting through treatment, I meant the monthly 17 second visit with the oncologist. Often mom wasn’t completely accurate in describing her condition or side effects. It’s useful for someone else to be there to help the MD get an accurate picture, and to remember what was said afterwards.

[lostapathy]

Oh I followed - and I really couldn't have anyone with me at those visits either.

[tiahura]

Ours opened up Mayish for 1 visitor. I was also able to use the telehealth app and, a couple of times, just FaceTime.