[usrusr]

If you wanted to go full data slapstick you'd set up an elaborate protocol on the ISM band between a cluster of Nordic nrf52 or similar where each SoC serves exactly one page from its flash memory. Want to update the about page? Flash it on a spare board, connect it to the battery and disconnect the old version.

It will have awful latency, likely suffer hard from the shared medium if ramped to nontrivial loads, but it will hardly use any power at all.

And it will drive people nuts who know even the tiniest bit about computers, but those who don't will understand it just fine: "I disconnected that new about page and plugged the old version back in"