[vesuvianvenus]

I certainly shall, now that you mention it. Hopefully it will help me put my mind at ease.

(I look to Lao Tzu on this... on maintaining internal peace and intention towards abundance "If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future.")

About to be broke again. 35 years old approaching.

I do not recommend living in a tent, but it's doable. And I may be living in a tent again in 2-3 months. No worries thoguh, it's up to me to pull me out of that predicament, and I know it can be done. It's largely a matter of online presence, a decent resume (even if partially BS as a matter of necessity in terms of... surviving), luck, and strategy.

A former marketer, so I am used to marketing myself strategically, with sprinkles and even dollops of BS if necessary, in order to literally survive and afford food.

As they say-- Necessity is the mother of invention. And this situation is largely owed only to own previous decisions and misjudgements.

[wolverine876]

Hey - just going on my impression here, but why beat yourself up? If this is what you like, then you're doing well; I'm sure Thoreau had doubts and fears - that's very possibly why he wrote about it. If it's not exactly what you like, you're just like the rest of us. Everyone is struggling and, IME, generally doing the best they can. Some people's struggles are more apparent to others (money, some addictions) and some less (and those with less apparent struggles often act like they have none). Compassion, for yourself and for others, is the ultimate weapon.

You sound courageous to me; it's inspiring to read how strong you are. I hope you find some peace tonight. Someone said to me, in a past life, 'what if you just stopped beating yourself up today, just for a day?'. Turned out that I really didn't need to do that any day. It's not like I wasn't trying, or that I'm not still trying and struggling.