[randlet]

"What happens if both work during regular office hours (as in my marriage)?"

OP specifically mentioned this is not the scenario we are discussing.

"If you have very young kids, it's impossible to have a distraction free work environment at home unless you find someone to take care of the kids and enforce the no distractions rule."

Again, neither OP or I are arguing against this.

"Both parents are caregivers in a marriage, there's no single caregiver."

Again, this feels like an uncharitable reading of my statement. Of course there are two caregivers but often there is one person in charge of the kids, hence my caregiver (singular) statement. Which partner it is, is irrelevant.

"People often assume, somewhat unfairly, that this person should be the mother."

How is this relevant to this post?

[randlet]

"b- someone in the couple is a stay at home parent (usually the mother) who watches the children. "

Also, these comments about "mother" are irksome to me since it feels like you're accusing me (or OP) of implying something I'm not. Not that it really matters but my wife and I (a father) work full time and during the pandemic I was the caregiver during normal business hours while my wife retained a normal working hours schedule.

[the_af]

I can't be accountable for what you find irksome. If during the pandemic you, the father, were the primary caregiver, know that:

- This is NOT the norm. This matters because what's more interesting is the general case, not the exceptions.

- It affected your work, in this case of a man instead of a woman, so the point remains: WFH is very hard for working couples with young children.

As for the relevance of the impact on mothers: it is VERY relevant and highlights the inequality that still remains in Western society. People by default assume the mother will take care, it's happened in every situation and every couple I talked with, and it's my own experience as well.

I'm not accusing you of anything, and if you feel personally addressed, that's on you.

[randlet]

"This matters because what's more interesting is the general case, not the exceptions."

That may be true, but in this case we were specifically discussing an exception where gender was not relevant.