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thats what i would do if i could, i haven't seen my one kid since he was 6 months old due to getting arrested and serving probation. my finances were and still are terrible, i had a terrible alcohol dependency and was hooked on drugs for years. i finally got out of that addiction but i only turned to drugs and alcohol because of undiagnosed depression and add. i couldn't get out of my funk, i was broke when he was conceived and remained broke because nobody wants to hire someone with a record, so i stayed out of his life in order to hopefully become the father who could one day put him through college. he is 9 now, i still havent seen him and i work all the time, it gets me nowhere, no matter how many self help positive thinking books and actions i take, i am still extremely poor and on the verge of homelessness. i started to finally catch up, i started a business and it looked like i was gonna finally gonna prove everyone wrong about me, you know, have self respect but the pandemic wiped out my business and delayed the reunification with my son. i not a victim but i don't you know anyone who can give me advice and tell me it's gonna be okay, people see their kids and no matter how hard i try, its like i an pushing a boulder uphill only to have it come rolling back down, each and everyday, i dont watch tv, i dont play games, i dont look at memes all day. i literally work from sun up to sun down and apply for jobs only to have people discredit me based on lack of experience in the field and probably how small my apartment looks on zoom. side note, i got arrested and thrown in the drunk tank overnight, i was stuck on probation longer because i could not make my payments. and what i got arrested for was punching someone while drunk, so i regret that, tremendously. before that i had no record. but i also lived in one of the worst states when it came to criminal justice. i did ard and my record is clean so i have that going for me at least |