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by spamizbad 1697 days ago
If you've got Jon's money you can just buy help for your family. So from the perspective of a rich guy who can afford a live-in nanny, I'm not surprised he thinks 6 months of paternity leave is extravagant.

But for normal people, you're lucky if you have some family to help out a day or two in the first few weeks. In the case of my wife and I for our son, we were flying solo. And that's assuming a normal birth - if your new baby has to spend time in the NICU... that's extra nerve wracking and emotionally taxing even though technically there are trained staff "taking care" of your baby.

2 comments

> from the perspective of a rich guy who can afford a live-in nanny

I'm not arguing for or against Jon but your statement is quite indicative of large social issue. Family. Not long ago after childbirth, aunts, sisters and grandparents would be around to help the young couple take care of the baby - and their sanity - while keeping things moving. Alas, we've reduced family to an expense line item. All in the name of progress. Whatever that means.

So maybe I will stand with Jons of the world, albeit from a different perspective.

You can buy a nanny for your kid. You can't buy a dad.
True, although in my experience the first 6 months of being a dad is less about being a male role model and more focused on supporting mom and making sure the baby is healthy, safe and comfortable.
It's laying the groundwork, though. You can't be a good role model unless your kid trusts you, and that trust starts being built at birth.
If the father isn't there for the first 6 months of child rearing, but the mother, friends, family, and hired nannies are, is it clear that a child will face lifelong repercussions?
These aren't all-or-nothing effects. Kids are resilient and adaptable, and it's never too late to start building a relationship.

But it is a relationship. If dad hasn't been there in the past, kid's got no reason to go to him for comfort or guidance in the future. That starts at birth, with holding & skin-to-skin contact, and continues through daily caregiving.