[themodelplumber]

Are you doing this for others' reasons that it's beneficial, or for your own?

Are you keeping a log of the perceived effect of meditation on your mind and body?

Just at a glance I wouldn't guess that it's helping you enough to be interesting, based on the outcome where you detach so easily from the practice.

If you need to stick with it in the long term regardless, I would at least combine it with scheduled social pressure, like a zoom meditation group with some friends, or more detailed tracking pressure, like building a composite graph of at least five specific measured factors that are important to you. In the strictest case, some of these factors might only be measurable weekly, for example your weekly weight loss if it's a weight loss meditation, or weekly average resting heart rate, etc.

Good luck, I know it's a practice that a lot of people swear by. I learned a few different types as part of various experiences, and personally ended up developing my own method that works best for me. Everybody's different.