[badinfo]

> but we simply don't know because it's impossible to ascertain through external means.

Yeah, exactly. We haven't developed a good enough Turing test -- for machines, people, or gods.

> What a ridiculous strawman.

I don't believe is a strawman as much as you think it is. A lot of arguments for consciousness derive from the desire for humans to be special, which is in turn derived from Abrahamic cosmology that places us directly beneath their God.