[tayo42]

> I would love just to own it and be honest, but the way things were set against me, it just looks like I'm making excuses for myself.

It sounds like it worth a try to just own it though? from skimming the posts here if your truly considering changing your name, it doesn't seem like it would make things that much worse for you.

maybe some mental health/therapy stuff if you can get it. sounds traumatic, working with someone might help get things straightened out, less stress etc?