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by darklajid
5428 days ago
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Fair enough. I guess you can read that from the article. For me, I can't see these things. Someone else already said that he should've apologized first, unqualified - and I agree that this would make a difference. On the other hand, I'm not sure if I'd have started like that - it feels natural to me to explain first, reason about my actions and end with an apology. We're not talking about a company here (see the AirBnB comparison), we're talking about a random guy as far as I'm concerned. Lastly: I guess a lot is getting lost in translation for me. Lots of advices on this forum are hard to get for me, because they are about nuances of English words, implied meanings, 'tone' and cultural rules. While it might very well be possible that you/most of the posters and Sam are sharing the same standards and therefor 'better' understand the content or see a subtext: I cannot. |
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Apologies that start with an explanation are very often more of a personal justification (coping mechanism) than a real apology. It frames the conversation in a way so as to reduce the cognitive dissonance between your actions and the social norm you violated (reason for apology), as well as reducing the discomfort in the act of apology.
It also makes people think you are apologizing to appease, instead of expressing genuine regret.