[AnimalMuppet]

Re 7: But other people also aren't side characters. Especially, your children aren't. (Your wife isn't, either, and neither are your co-workers.)

I needed that to some degree ten years ago. I needed it a lot worse 20 years ago.

[chaircher]

Yes and there's a trap where once you learn one version of this you can go too far the other way trying to balance your personality out.

And it can also be the case that you're doing both at the same time - thinking about the community I am from, people treated other people like that because they were being treated like that themselves.