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by Prestoon 1722 days ago
I'm sure that works for a certain demographic, but on the other hand for a lot of kids after a certain point the advice provided by the parent falls on deaf ears. They have to make mistakes and suffer the consequences of them before they ever truly learn from them. You're not dealing with a rational adult, for many of them I'm sure it's more or less "there goes mom, lecturing me again." and at this period in their lives they're just about to begin their ascent into puberty, one of the most transformative periods that involves a lot of rebellion and a lot of risky behavior. Kids need to see that there's consequences to their actions and if their parents can provide that in a controlled environment, I don't think its poor skills.

I think it's being ahead of the curve. Setting the expectation for not only what they might run into out there, but what to expect when they get home. If anything you should combine the two approaches.
3 comments
ashtonkem 1722 days ago
> They have to make mistakes and suffer the consequences of them before they ever truly learn from them.

This seems to be a good strategy for things with obvious and immediate consequences. Eat too much ice cream, feel sick, etc. It seems like social media seems to have a much more slow burning, pernicious impact on your quality of life. Adults struggle to accurately diagnose this, expecting a child to do so seems unwise.

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mixmastamyk 1722 days ago
Also, "the internet never forgets."
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grvdrm 1722 days ago
>I think it's being ahead of the curve. Setting the expectation for not only what they might run into out there, but what to expect when they get home. If anything you should combine the two approaches.

Wholeheartedly agree with this. Well said.

I think you see this in kids of almost any age. Saying no can backfire. I do my best with my own kids to explain why I'm allowing or disallowing something, and find it works better than hard and fast restrictions. My hope is to translate this frequent conversation into the same conversation when they're older, opinionated, and rebellious. It will not work perfectly, but I think that a lifetime of deliver no answers won't work in my favor.

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reayn 1722 days ago
Yes, this, 100% agreed.

Having the kids learn on their own and experience things (and their consequences) firsthand is the right way to do things, I didn't get that far in my comment but yours sums it up fantastically.

The parent comments' take of just brainlessly shielding them from everything is the absolute worst thing you can do in such a scenario.

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