[Udo]

  So, go ahead, someone sell me on Macs.

Why? If what you got is working for you, why should you switch? Why should anyone want to "sell" you on Macs?

  I immediately hit issues. Paste is crazy squiggly hash v (or maybe apple v?), 
  I can't right click, I can't win+d to the desktop.

I'm not quite sure what to make of your somewhat ridiculous list of issues, but that's really secondary to the main concern: people have different tastes, different usage styles and different expectations. If the Mac isn't for you, it's not for you period. Facts don't matter, preferences do. What's the point in evangelizing another platform when you're happy with your current one?

It's hard to understand where all this aggression around operating systems comes from. We're all extremely lucky because we get to choose freely from a great set of systems. You can pick any one of them that relates to you the most and then you can go out and be productive with it. Why is there any need to evangelize, criticize, sell, pressure, or judge other people based on their platform choice?

I simply don't get why people feel it's necessary to make statements like "XYZ sucks so much, I don't understand how to do the simplest things with it, can someone please sell me on this stupid XYZ?"