Am I in the super-minority if I say I've unfollowed about 80% of my FB friends? I've never seen a political or outrage post in the last 3 years since I just unfollowed everyone but my closest friends and family.
I unfollowed everybody, joined a bunch of local special interest groups and met a ton of new people who lived in the same city. Facebook is actually an incredible tool to connect with other people.
But the more I saw how FB behaved, the less I wanted to be involved in any way with their business. I ended up deleting my FB account, which even now 3 years later I feel was a huge loss for me. But I just can't do FB anymore knowing how they're driving outrage and political/societal issues in the name of "user engagement".
I wish there were some alternative, but there isn't. It genuinely feels like I've cut myself off from modern city life without it and it frustrates me so much.
It is supposed to make you feel that way. That is on FB's agenda to achieve, in order to bind you to their (dis-)services.
Real friends will not require you to use FB and sacrifice your privacy to communicate with them. You might feel a loss, but there are alternative ways of communicating. Get as many friends as possible over to messengers, which are not owned by FB. Give people a call every now and then. Write them SMS, write them e-mail. All of that is better than communication on FB services. Real friends will initiate as well. If you are not on FB, they will have to contact you through other means. If you are not worth the "trouble" or effort in their eyes, then good riddance, you do not need them.
> If you are not worth the "trouble" or effort in their eyes, then good riddance, you do not need them.
Relationships are a spectrum, and your friends move around on that spectrum over time. Social media gives you the ability to maintain some kind of connection to people even though maybe at a certain point in time, those friends are distant from you on the spectrum. But that can change at any moment and having that line of communication makes it that much easier to reconnect at any given moment.
Sending a text or calling someone randomly is not always easy to do, especially if it's someone you haven't spoken to in a while. Whereas commenting on a post or replying to a story has much less friction and can result in reconnecting with people you otherwise wouldn't.
I guess you missed the part about meeting new people? I'm in contact with people I know over other apps. But there's no replacement for that discoverability of local groups and events or facilitating the meeting with new people.
When you meet friends, are there never new people around? Do they never introduce you to their other friends? How did people get to know people before FB became big?
There are other websites, where you can find local groups of people. Some also group you into local areas, so you know anyone around there will be living nearby.
I do not see a problem with meeting worthwhile new people.
"FB is the only way." or "there is no replacement" are an illusion.
many years ago you would similarly be excluded from some social stuff if you didn't smoke. That is one of the best business models around - tying, or better even locking in, people's socializing to your product. Humans, being a social animal, have very hard time getting out of such a trap.
As someone in that cohort who was also there for the "glory" days of early FB (when you had to have a college email to sign up), I have to agree that at this point the idea of making friends on FB weirds me out. How? Why?
FB is what my racist parents use to circle jerk conspiracy theories with their friends in Cabo. Who in their right mind wants that anymore? (This is a rhetorical question, I understand there are still tons of people using FB, presumably because of inertia).
It's not like I'd make friends on FB itself. For example, there'd be an impromptu meeting of random strangers in town for whatever event and you'd make friends through that. This was only a few years ago.
Or some woman randomly posted that she was going to the movies in like half an hour and would anybody be interested in joining? We became friends from that and ended up doing a lot of things together, and I know I never would've met her otherwise because of how our lives didn't overlap at all before meeting her.
FB can enable a lot of cool meetings with new people that I haven't been able to find anywhere else.
FB is, in the end, a tool. It's what you make of it. If your circle of contacts is tied up in conspiracy Trumpian bullshit, then sure, FB is a cesspool. But I was a part of plenty of special interest groups filled with incredibly friendly and helpful people. It's like a completely different world.
> As someone in that cohort who was also there for the "glory" days of early FB (when you had to have a college email to sign up), I have to agree that at this point the idea of making friends on FB weirds me out. How? Why?
I was a freshman when Facebook was introduced and required a .edu email. I've used it on and off since the beginning. I've made lots of friends there - both local and in other states/countries. It usually comes down to interactions in groups for niche interests. Why is this so striking to you?
I just don't know people that still use Facebook with any regularity. I understand selection bias is at play (I'm inclined to hang out with people like myself, and I think Facebook is a flaming trash-pit).
I made friends on Facebook years ago. I felt fundamental changes in both the user-base and use-cases that I don't find enjoyable. I assume most people under the age of 40 feel similarly, and those that don't aren't the type of person I'd want to be around.
I'll rephrase: It's not that I assume nobody is making friends on Facebook in this day and age, just that I'm less likely to want to befriend them myself and I was applying this personal assumption unilaterally.
I completely understand avoiding Facebook; I haven't deleted my account yet, but I've been off it for the past year and a half. I also understand it not being your choice for a people meeting platform. But there is such a variety of users there - I think it's a bit silly for you to think that there's no one there you'd be willing to befriend on Facebook.
Meeting people online before you know them offline is always a risk. People are good at misrepresenting themselves online (either on purpose or by accident).
I ended up in the same place, by a different route.
Because I spend too much time on HN, I was convinced that the correct answer was to delete my FB account. So I did.
But I really missed out on some family interactions, and after about a year I caved and created a new account. But I have been super careful about who is allowed to be my friend on FB. And for the few people I care about who still insist on posting political nonsense, I muted them. My feed on Facebook is basically inert, I only see posts about family things, pictures of grandkids, that kind of stuff. No politics at all. I'm glad to have it back.
I am more careful now to appreciate that HN commenters lean heavily toward the extremes, and do more due diligence in my own decision making to ensure I'm being sensible, not reactionary, when I follow advice that originates here.
I did that too. Until I realized most of the group that remained overlapped with friends/family I communicated with in Telegram, WhatsApp and SMS chats. So there was no point to keeping a Facebook account.
Addition/edit: Furthermore I closed my account because I truly and sincerely believe that mass social media has a more negative impact on society than addiction, untreated mental illness, and all forms of abuse (child, domestic, etc) put together.
That was my experience as well. Facebook was just reduced to people I talked to on other channels every week, so I ended up not logging on to Facebook anyway. When GDPR rolled in and Facebook asked to accept the updated terms and conditions I just clicked "no" and Facebook told me that I'd have to close my account.
> Am I in the super-minority if I say I've unfollowed about 80% of my FB friends? I've never seen a political or outrage post in the last 3 years since I just unfollowed everyone but my closest friends and family.
Yes but when I started unfollowing people who were over sharing political or outrage posts, that included my family, at which point I thought why bother using it at all.
I deleted it becuase it was easier to not manage it than it was to be forced to deal with it.
The benefits absolutely did not outweigh the consequences. But, just like any lifestyle change, it took a while to notice all the ways it affected my life.
Probably? I know that you're capable of doing that, but most of our friends and family log onto Facebook to zone out, not to curate their feed. Their feeds will continue to be full of garbage, not even counting the ads that show up that often target people for political ends.
I would much rather Facebook removed link posts entirely, and also provided an easy toggle option to disable shared content in the feed.
I did the same. It's onlh local news, a local group and an IM client for me now. Not seen any of this stuff people are talking about and it sounds like I'm healthier for it.
I have several hundred friends added (think that's average) but I've never needed to do this because none of them seem to be interested in politics. Even the ones that have studied it at university only mention it occasionally and very briefly. However, my parent's friends seem to comment on every viral politics thing they can find.
But the more I saw how FB behaved, the less I wanted to be involved in any way with their business. I ended up deleting my FB account, which even now 3 years later I feel was a huge loss for me. But I just can't do FB anymore knowing how they're driving outrage and political/societal issues in the name of "user engagement".
I wish there were some alternative, but there isn't. It genuinely feels like I've cut myself off from modern city life without it and it frustrates me so much.