[jcr]

You might want to fix this typo.

> Maybe it¿s just me, but I prefer to remotely control computers via SSH over VNC

If you're really running "SSH over VNC" then you're doing it wrong. ;)

> I have always wanted a program that shows a movie in my terminal by converting it to ASCII art in real-time, that would be sweet

man mplayer and look for the -vo flag which controls the video output mode/driver. Two common options for video output (-vo) are the 'aa' (ASCII Art) and 'caca' (Color Coded ASCII Art). There is a third, 'bl' ("blinkenlights") but it's hardware dependent.