[femto]

Satire would be to graciously close the account and immediately delete all data.

[philipswood]

Yeah. True that.

Not urgent will email later.

You could instead go the NYT subscription cancellation route and require me to either phone or IM.

(And then have ridiculous IM response times)

[Charlieholtz]

Ok cool, I will make this easier ASAP! In the meantime we also accept snail mail and telegram.