[smackeyacky]

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. If I spent my life being a histrionic dick, I would fully expect to be treated in a way that minimised the damage I could do to other people. Containing and minimising the narcissist in the workplace is the only way to remain sane. Try working with one and use the principles in the thread article and see how it works out. I've tried it, the consequences were brutal.

[exo-pla-net]

If I were a histrionic dick, I'd hope that more sophisticated people would use their superior vantage point to help me mature, instead of enraging and walking over me.

As it happens, I was a histrionic and narcissistic dick. Sometimes more mature people exploited my weakness, as you're suggesting, making me look foolish and getting their way. They'd win the battle, but they'd start a war. I'd make it a mission to do damage to them for embarrassing me, and I'd generally succeed. I'd often take damage myself in this war, but a pyrrhic victory was fine. I'd get my revenge.

I didn't change until my 20's, largely steered by someone who fully understood my limitations and less than prosocial proclivities. They showed me some compassion, gently guiding me toward being a decent person.

One can claim it's unfair that dicks should be treated with greater empathy and kindness than they give others. But they're not going to change otherwise. And underneath, they're indeed damaged. I'd rather live in a world where we help damaged people, instead of just kicking them out of the way.

We have limited capacity to save the humans around us, of course. If you truly can't help, such as with strangers or coworkers, the best practice against unhinged narcissists is called "tactical empathy" [1]. You can cool them off without creating a war.

I can guarantee that some of the people you "enraged" were subsequently plotting against you. Maybe you have a high tolerance for that, but I don't want people plotting to hurt me; that's scary. To avoid that, you can use tactical empathy to gracefully cool them off, while still giving them nothing. It's more humane, and it's safer.

[1] https://discord.com/moderation/360060487093-443:-Ban-Evasion...

[smackeyacky]

This is good advice, it really is. But I'm not jesus and on top of that, I really don't care about anybody plotting against me because I don't work in a corporate environment where I have to pander to anybody. I'm old and I'm done pandering. I sympathise with the idea that there are people who are insane to deal with that should be treated with empathy to steer them towards the right path. I don't see that as my job - it just encourages people to behave worse in my experience. Give them an inch, they'll take a mile as the old saying goes. The best thing to do for your fellow man is protect them from the world's arseholes as much as you can, which is going to leave a few narcissistic casualties along the way. It's a trade off like anything.