[pontsprit]

Now that I'm making money and am 'successful' doing what I love, I have realized that nothing could have prepared me for the contradictory reality of the making a living off of something that is deeply personal/inward directed.

Even if I find myself holding together what often feels like two antithetical parts, the rewards (for now) of being able to pursue the fulfillment of my 'life activity' and what I am naturally oriented towards outweigh the dissonance.

However, a pitfall is if your life activity is altered so much by capital that its creative function ceases to exist except to generate more capital; perpetuate its system - the best outcome is where capital accelerates your 'life's activity' transformative potential instead of neutralizing it.

My personal solution is to turn my back on a lot of the expectations and niceties of my work and instead focus most of my energy on creation.

*edited for grammar