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Others have already recommended therapy and I agree. I would also recommend loving-kindness mediation, and reading the book "Don't Shoot the Dog" to understand how brains work. I could try giving you financial advice, but the problem is that you would not follow it, and we both know it. So instead, I will recommend a few tricks I use to make myself believe that I have less money than I actually have (which reduces the impulse to spend too much). First, realize that "the money you have" is just a fiction anyway. Suppose you have a $100,000 mortgage, and $10,000 in your bank account. Does it mean you have $10,000 that you are free to spend? No, it actually means you have $90,000 debt. The number $10,000 is so misleading that the less you think about it, the better for you. (You have an option to reduce the fiction by making an advance payment to the mortgage. Perhaps you should do it when the feeling "I have too much money" becomes too strong.) Perhaps you should get a second bank account, move some money from the first account there, and then forget that the second account exists. Even better, if possible, make it so that only your wife (or both of you together) can move money from the second account. Again, when the feeling "I have too much money" gets too strong, move some money from the first account to the second account, and then forget that you did this. (There should be no card associated with the second bank account.) I am not American, so I don't know whether this would be a practical advice or a huge inconvenience for you, but don't use cards, always pay cash. With cards, paying is too easy, and the money is too virtual. Do you NOT want to simplify things you want to do less of! Keep between $100 and $500 in your purse, pay cash, and whenever you get below $100, take $400 more from an ATM. If you notice yourself visiting the ATM twice during the same week, you know you are spending too much. More importantly, this way your brain will learn to interpret "how much money do I have" as the amount in your purse, not the amount in your bank account (and definitely not the amount in your second bank account.) Generally, the best way to get rid of a habit is to replace it with an alternative. "When you feel tempted to do X, do Y instead" is easier than "simply stop doing X". What could be a replacement for your Amazon scrolling? (Alternatively, could you somehow subvert the process, so that you e.g. scroll for awesome things, then you bookmark them in the browser, but you never actually buy them?) Could you read a book or watch a movie instead? Play a computer game (some ancient game, without loot boxes and stuff)? Learn to cook, or build furniture? (If it must be buying, could you add some artificial constraint, such as "I am going to find the most awesome thing below $5, and then I will buy it"?) Or maybe you could spend some time with people who have much less than you... and perhaps buy something genuinely useful for them. (As a side effect, thinking about other people's problems makes you think less about yourself. Think how many homeless people you could feed for that $5,000.) |