[murgindrag]

Quotes like this bug me:

> If you find yourself in this type of situation, please do what’s best for you and get help if you are feeling stuck or overwhelmed.

Get help the !@#$% where? There isn't a magic American "help" fairy who bails people out of trouble.

These issues are complex, and therapists/counselors/psychologists suck up time and don't really address root causes.

[mym1990]

A therapists job is literally to take time to address the root causes of complex issues. Maybe you’ve had bad experience with some therapists/counselors, but I wouldn’t extrapolate that to the whole field of psychology.

[murgindrag]

If the root causes is:

- Financial constraints

- A harasser

- A medical problem

- Etc.

a therapist/counselor can't help you very much. Whenever I've had issues I needed help with, there were real issues behind it. A therapist/counselor won't be able to do much, if anything.

If you're making a $350k salary in a hell-job while having $100k in financial obligations, the solution is simple enough.

If you're making a $350k salary in a hell-job to pay for your kid's medical problem and meet mortgage, talking to a therapist or "just quitting" won't do much.

[mym1990]

Are you actually saying that people who go to therapy don't have 'real issues' behind their problems? Damn...

[murgindrag]

No, I'm saying if you're:

* in an abusive job

* are going to be deported if you quit

* have kids you want to keep in school

... anxiety is a natural biological response, and there isn't a magical therapy trick that will help you get rid of it. Perhaps that time and money is better spent on managing immigration or job issues than on therapy.

And if you're in a new country with no savings and no contacts, continuing with the same example, there might not be friends or family whom you can turn to for help.

[mym1990]

You're just picking out examples that suit your point. Are you saying therapy is just a 'magical trick'?

[murgindrag]

I'm saying that there are internals problems and there are external problems. Whenever I've had mental health issues, there were clear external causes, and therapy ain't gonna do a thing about that. Therapists will tell you the same thing. Removing the root causes will do something.

Unfortunately, there isn't a magical get-help fairy which helps with external problems. Sometimes, your life just gets f-ed up, and there's nothing you can do about it.

[amelius]

What are the odds of finding a good therapist? I fear that many psychologists chose their line of work not because of their analytical capabilities.

[mym1990]

I think this depends on the source. One of the best ways to get a good therapist is to have one that has already been vetted through your circle of trust. This is obviously dependent on factors outside of your control, but sometimes you also just have to try some out. I think also...just because a therapist is 'good' doesn't mean they will be good for you in particular.

[philangist]

The author clearly states that it was the process of working with a therapist and the “face it or replace it” idea that helped them realize they had to leave their job. The solution for any given individual may not be the system as the root cause of the systemic problem, but that doesn’t mean a good counselor can’t be helpful.

[mbrodersen]

Change job ASAP. Getting help while still being abused doesn’t help.

[ridaj]

+1 just get another job if the job makes you unhappy

[Sunspark]

Walk it off. /s

[animal_spirits]

You don't need professionals to help you address your issues. Friends+family+strangers at the bar can help immensely

[philangist]

It honestly depends on the scale of issues. Many people’s problem is that they can’t maintain positive behaviors due to some problems that stem from their family. If you can’t make (healthy) friends easily because you were traumatized during a critical stage of development, how do you get out of that negative spiral?

I honestly didn’t realize any of this until the last 1-2 years. When you’re raised in a fairly stable and supportive family environment, the level of dysfunction in other people’s home lives is completely outside of your reality.

[mym1990]

Good friends can definitely be amazing, but it takes the right type. Family will often tell you what they think will make you feel better, but not necessarily how to address the problem. Strangers at the bar and generally trying to fix problem in an alcohol based environment is a terrible idea.