[hnbad]

The problem is that the way autistics are treated by non-autistics often involves an expectation to simply not be autistic. This includes behavioral therapy that in any other context would be described as torture. The stated goal is to reduce perceptible "symptoms", not to address whatever the person themself might find limiting to their wellbeing.

Autistic kids generally don't bang their heads against walls for "a good time". It's a form of stimming and it's intensified by certain situations or interactions. The desirable approach would not be to prevent the kid from stimming (which can cause them massive additional stress and even trauma) but instead offer them a safer alternative that is less likely to cause them injury.

But allistics (non-autistics) tend to be annoyed by autistics stimming at all, so often it comes down to whether autistics are able to "mask" and suppress their more obvious traits (even if it causes persistent stress) or not.