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>Yeah, I know community is good[1], but I am estranged from family and have 1 friend who is busy with his own life. Possibly it is because of me being weird around people? Or me being socially awkward? I will screen myself for ADHD, but every attempt to connect with people failed. :( I seem to connect with people on platforms like HN, but I cannot connect outside of platforms like HN for some odd reason. Furthermore, I really tried to connect with real people, but I got rejected many times. I am afraid that I am an annoyance to people and that's why they don't want to connect with me.It is stressful to be alone. Do a check for spectrum disorders. Even having those (or just a certain character, it's not like it's something you can't fight or somewhat fix. Try to make the first step with people, including strangers. Even if it's an Uber driver, if they want to chat, don't shut them down. It's practice, and can lead to actual connections. If it's friends, call, don't wait to be called (else it's an endless loop with each side waiting). If it's you always doing the calling after some time, of course, fuck them. Embrace smalltalk and casual conversation. What seems like meaningless to the "Vulcan" Aspie-like brain it's just indirect bonding. In other words, it's more about the bonding than the informational content (we're not computers). Generally, it's not about the informational content and getting knowledge. It's about sharing emotional states. Fuck your niche interests. Anime or Games or 15th century Spanish poetry is not the be all end all. Embrace more interests. Learn other people's interests. The best way is doing stuff together - from doing some project (not work), to starting a revolution, or whatever. If that also has some stakes, even better. Getting Fuck politics and pop tastes and such. Connect to people above that level, for their character and soul, not for what they say their politics or cultural tastes are. Don't think that someone that laughs at Rob Schneider and Adam Sandler movies is "beneath you", because e.g. you watch Wes Anderson, or that a Trump or Hillary person is unfit as a human. That's superficial ideological BS. If possible, travel and make acquaintences with people of other "hotter" cultures, where chatting up a stranger, or even offering them a place, is nothing to write home about. |