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I'll attempt to provide something that sibling commenters haven't. Pre-amble: It sounds like your results with socializing match my results with job finding ;) Something I've noticed among my other friends in their 20s and early thirties, not that it necessarily matters, is that they have social anxiety and not any common ground with anyone. They live relatively isolated lives, either behind a screen or largely in their apartments. Socializing stopped shortly after high-school, when it wasn't easy anymore. I think part of this is a symptom of people not having anything to do in public that involves "hanging out". Every hobby I do except for maybe two involves just ambiently being present in public space. The gym, outdoor workout facilities, being in nature, being at the skatepark, going to concerts maybe, sitting outside at a coffee shop and generally being unassuming. People live in the damn suburbs or in skyscrapers, where there's fucking no reason to be around anyone else. My friends also almost entirely rely on work for their social life. I live at ground level near cafes and in a neighborhood where people are walking around for enjoyment (only for the latest few years of my life), and I wouldn't trade it for anything. These are the conditions that prevent you from meeting other people in neutral space, where you can talk and drink and play. Most cities out there are designed to crush your soul. Other people mention that it gets better later in life, and it's possible, but I'd wager that it's only because you stop caring rather than actually having a substantial social life. Starting to position yourself better now is a much better idea. It takes time, but it's doable. The other thing is that much like jobs, sometimes rejection happens for reasons beyond your control, sometimes in your control. You just need to let yourself naturally meet a lot of people, some subset of which you can develop further. Meet those friends of your "work friends", so when that job goes away, you're social life won't because you developed the secondary or tertiary connections. Loneliness sucks, but it'll turn around. Just start hanging out more, and don't expect anything to happen. Before you know it, you'll meet someone interesting. p.s I have ADHD and it lets me really get into conversations and try new things that expose me to fun circumstances. Maybe that's you too. |
I'll confirm that.