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by mypalmike 1762 days ago
I guarantee nobody thinks you are an annoyance if you aren't specifically trying to annoy them. Self confidence takes a long time to develop, but it's worth investing that time. Exercise, diet, mental health therapy, taking small and increasing steps in terms of social risks, dating if that interests you, finding hobbies that require you interact with other people... It's years of work but it may be what life is all about.
1 comments

> I guarantee nobody thinks you are an annoyance if you aren't specifically trying to annoy them.

I appreciate that you're trying to help but is this guarantee actually based on any real evidence or experience?

Because I've definitely seen people be regarded as annoyances even though they were clearly not trying to be annoying. Heck, even knowing this, I've still felt that some people were annoying to me and it was obvious that they weren't trying to be.

There are countless innocuous reasons why someone may not get along with you, but I've noticed that missing those social cues or trying to befriend them anyway will very quickly make them think you're really annoying. You certainly don't have to try.

I may have overstated it. Some people are indeed going to be annoyed by a socially awkward person, sure. But by and large, the vast majority of people really are kind hearted and sympathetic. More importantly, humans are generally too self-focused to even care much at all about someone else's social awkwardness. One of the keys to confidence is to stop worrying about what people think about you. It helps knowing that most people don't really think much at all about you. But it's hard. It's not even 100% possible for most of us. But there's a positive feedback loop in letting yourself off the hook for being how you are.