[version_five]

What you describe is true of many successes I find. Lots of people look at it as if you got some unfair or lucky break. Maybe that is true for the lottery, but for things like good grades, good job, wealth, or even access to leisure time (for example having time to exercise), many get defensive instead of being happy for the success. I've done it to, to some extent it's human nature, but it's something to try and avoid.

[throwaway528645]

I disagree. Dropped out of community college, couch surfed late teens to early twenties, worked night stocking at grocery stores, phone support for Wells Fargo, and DSL tech support.

I suffer from ADD and depression(some anxiety). I drink too much too often as self-medication.

Yet somehow I'm grossing just over 300k this year not working for a FAANG company. It's incredibly easy for me to get a job and offers and has been for nearly a decade. I've received multiple offers after passing interviews quite hung over(hey, when your interviewing at a few companies interviews are bound to collide with drinks nights haha).

I consider my self extremely lucky that I'm somehow successful career wise despite myself. And it's a trope that people who are successful monetarily but have a lacking family situation look at those with a great family situation and believe them to be lucky. And vice versa.

Some people are able to quit smoking relatively "easy". Some people are not able to, or need to be exposed to the right method of quitting. Some never get exposed to the right method, and some try everything and still can't quit.

Sometimes I feel like we are all just riding out life experiencing something we have little control over. And what we believe we have control over, we don't actually have control over having that control. This outlook doesn't take away from trying to maximize my personal experience, but it makes me think more than twice before considering the difference between myself and others as "hard working" vs "lazy".

Just because it may be human nature to be jealous of those with success doesn't mean they weren't actually lucky. The best or worst luck anyone will ever get is probably the parents they were born to and the genes they inherited from them..

[jjj123]

Totally agree! I make far more than my harder working, smarter friends outside of tech.

People with greater wealth don’t necessarily “deserve” it, whatever that means.

[brailsafe]

Ya, if you don't acknowledge the luck involved in things like getting that good job, it can offen imply everyone else is just lazy and it's hard to be congratulatory when most people just don't have the circumstances work out for them.

It could come down to your first job working out super well, paying well, and maybe you also happen to not find it extremely depressing. It helps if you're parents are still together and didn't have their own mental health issues, or less likely it helps of your family is so screwed that you had no other option than sacrificing yourself fully for money. That carries you forward. If however anything happened to impair that, you could be screwed.