[agloeregrets]

One more logic-focused on it is that control is a false concept in general. You can only choose what to control what you think about at best but outside factors are out of your control so you become a slave to those changing factors. So, effectively, attempting to control external factors makes the external factors control your thinking.

Imagine leading an animal into a cage with food. To that animal, they are controlling their food intake and their lunch! In that attempt to exert control over the situation they have lost all primary control.

[artificialLimbs]

You can make aims in your life, and try to work towards goals and build willpower. You can aim to surround yourself with people that you believe will help you grow and be positive influences on you, for instance. Or you can aim avoid people that you think won't. You will still run into the whole gamut at the grocery store, however.

Controlling your thoughts is another matter. Just try to stop thinking for an entire minute. Don't have any thoughts. Alternately, only think about 1 thing. You very probably cannot do it. We don't choose what to think, but we can choose how we react (or not) to our thoughts. You CAN choose to accept the thoughts as they come and not identify with them, deciding "oh, that's a thought, how interesting". This is in opposition to what we normally do, which is to act on every little thought that floats along or decide to 'grab' onto the thoughts and stay with them while going down whatever rabbit hole they lead us into.

Your point does stand, control is a false concept in general.

[setpatchaddress]

Tibetan Buddhist meditation practice makes it quite clear that you can (and are expected to, eventually) change which thoughts arise in the first place.