[Doctor_Fegg]

Which reminds me of another favourite, “Free As In Helicopter”: the software is free, but figuring out how to use it is so insanely complex, and has so many dependencies, that a successful completed deployment costs you thousands in $$$/£££/€€€.

https://www.military.com/daily-news/2015/01/13/free-army-hel... is the ancestor of the phrase.