Sure but what if that emotion is transformative for you what if you realize by going through this that you did want this? And that you just didn't realize you could want it before? So you see people around you getting it and you think, "well, I could get it too, why not?" That's a real thing, there's power in those communities. Those emotions could play out like that. There's no need to pretend there's no chance to make up for how you never did.