That's a great point. The HN community's a great microcosm. There are a few sexist jerks, and a number of guys who routinely defend sexist jerks. Of course there are also plenty of guys who speak out about sexism, and then there's what seems like the the vast majority: guys who would rather not talk about it. The net result, my women friends tell me, is that the overall feel is hostile to women.
Amen. As a lady dev, I think this is a universal truth. I don't think this particular male-dominated field is probably any more sexist than other male-dominated fields, though.
IMHO: What holds some women back more than anything is unwillingness to be a potential lighting rod everywhere you go. I have kind of a pioneering spirit, and am willing to fight the sometimes daily battle to be recognized more for my merit than my high heels. But I absolutely understand why another woman would find that kind of effort exhausting and unworthy of her time.
Some people are happy standing out in a crowd and others are not. Most people are crowd people. It's not good or bad, just a preference.