[goodpoint]

> Someone with an actual medical issue learns to adapt to life and live it

That's quite harsh to all the people who cannot join you for dinner on a hike because of some illness or disability.

Describing non-drinking as a "control ritual" and "self sabotaging substitute" is an equally harsh description of people's personal choices or medical needs. E.g. pregnancy.

> I don't eat with anyone I'm not willing to pick up the entire tab for, because the pleasure of their company is well worth it.

I never thought of measuring friendship and companionship with money...

[motohagiography]

I have numerous friends who don't drink or eat meat and for different reasons (religious, addiction, medical, health, caste, politics, personal), and they manage because they know how to navigate socially. I can think of more than a few invites I don't get for related reasons.

In the scenario you propose, the disabled person meets us at the bar, the recovering alcoholic drinks cranberry juice, and the pregnant woman buys because she's probably the only one with a job, some chirp back and forth, nobody complains, and we get to be together. It's not hard. The lifestyle vegan isn't there because we have other things to talk about, and we can always see him at crossfit.

If we have something to manage in a social situation, I think it's still on us to show we are capable of enjoying ourselves.