[wruza]

Your position is valid, but in reality that’s exactly what is used to game the rules. I got banned or post deleted. Why is their blog link not banned then? Why that low quality post is still there then? See, I can game the rules but I can’t game the community. They just “don’t want it”, no matter how hard “it” is to define. It’s their place, mods have limited time, and if some phenomenon becomes too common, blanket rules are inevitable.

What is the ethical way to self-promote?

Exactly what you propose. But if they ask you to stop even that, you should. If they don’t have enough to judge case by case with hundreds of cases, you have to understand that and agree.

By using “I” and “you” above I mean example person, not one of us.

Another thing that you assume, which is not exactly correct imo, is what slut-shaming is. We may agree that explicit directed pointing-out and shaming is bad, because it attacks a person. But we can’t blame internal “don’t want it here” feelings, even if that is based on OF link. Shaming is a direct action, not location-based attitude. The same person may not want it in a linux-related group, but may visit a link and subscribe in OF-related one. E.g. I like strippers in my local stripclub and have good relationships with few of them, but I wouldn’t want them advertise it at my nephew’s birthday party or sysop meetings.