My life is already wasted. I've seen too much and I know too much to ever be completely happy. The best I can do is try to leave behind some kind of positive legacy. Maybe with 20 more years I will achieve something.
I kind of agree. When I was young and could not afford anything - I was dreaming about all luxury things I saw in the movies and travelling the globe.
Now I tried it and don't see the reason to. I mean there is no rush. Regular house/flat will give you 80% of value of multimillion dollar mansion will give. Cars are all +- the same given that you can drive only so fast. Travel when you need to work is too hectic but if you are retired it can be very inexpensive.
In order to push past this middle level it is not clear what to do i.e. difference between 1M and 10M is not that big in terms of your lifestyle but ability to accumulate so much is completely different beast.
The true happiness comes from other things: friends, family, free time, the business you love, curiosity etc.
UPD: This is all of course if you were able to get into good career/small business path. If you are stuck with some low-pay job you still have some work to do to jump to another industry.
Yes, this is where I feel a downvote is not appropriate.
I can see why one has the urge to downvote this though. It has to do with “ruining the positive atmosphere”. Instead of offering alternative view, heck, even just a simple encouragement, some people just default to knee jerk reaction of disapproval.
It feels like a form of discrimination against unhappiness. It reminds me of the book 'Brave New World' - In the book, unhappy people are looked down upon and they see sadness as an illness which needs to be medicated with 'Soma'.
I've been working almost nonstop (including many nights and weekends) for over a decade, became a skilled software developer, built some popular open source projects but I got to a point in my career where it started to feel like my employers were turning against me instead of trying to help me. I had to quit companies on several occasions to try to progress. Managers were witholding promotions and suppressing my career development and instead were promoting people who had no interest in software development and with less experience. I always told everyone about my ambitions.
Some of my colleagues at my last company suggested that my bosses may have been jealous of my open source success. But somehow it feels like every boss I've had over the past 6 years have been like this.
I often tried to raise funding from investors and Venture Capitalists. I must have applied to hundreds of different angel investors and firms over the past decade. I even attended events which I knew some specific investors would attend and managed to secure a coffee with some big investors. I'm a developer so networking is not natural to me but I pushed myself hard anyway.
In spite of having built one of the most popular open source projects in my country, I could not even secure a seed round from any investor. On the other hand, I've watched people I knew who were running projects with almost no traction at all raise over 1 million dollars. Everyone I know talks about it as if it's easy.
Everyone around me seems to be getting opportunities without trying and without any track record. On the oher hand I always seem to get overlooked for no apparent reason. It happens over and over. Feels like the world is against me.
My ex-colleagues even told me that my ex-boss (CTO) said that he regrets me leaving the company... I had made some significant contributions. I even saw a screenshot of a message that the CTO sent which paints me in a very positive light. Yet when I try to reach out to him to do some kind of partnership or sponsorship, I get no response. It's downright weird actually.
The only time I ever raised any money (or benefited from any exit) was a $10k donation from a member of one of my cryptocurrency communities. I guess they must have taken pity on my situation. I don't even care though. Nowadays, I will take anything I can get, by whatever means or social mechanism.
I don’t think this is unique to you, this is the way it is.
You might be passed over for promotions as they see you as a good IC but don’t think you’ll be good at managing. You can probably solve this by taking on more responsibility. In my experience there are too few people who want to manage teams so someone is wanting to do is a big thing.
I don’t have experience in VC but I imagine raising money is going to be like anything else sales like and require a lot of patience, persistence and tweaking. There is a lot of advice on HN and from YC.
Pick if you want to climb the corporate ladder or start a startup as they
are two quite different things.
Also I would probable see a psychologist to help
change your mindset. The world is not conspiring against you.
I met guys like you, skillful and hardworking software engineers who deliver results but are unable to build positive relations with management. Without it there is not enough trust for promotion, investment. The fastest way to learn this is to observe and adapt behavior of more successful people in your environment. Books on the topic often ignore the differences in national and organizational culture.
You sound pretentious, hence why you don't inspire VPs enough to follow your projects. For that purpose, being skilled in SWE is barely important comparing to relational skills.
It's time to question yourself.
I think the main problem is that the average investor feels uncomfortable around me when they know my backstory. Maybe it makes them question the meritocracy narrative. Maybe they feel guilty (about their own success) by being around me. People don't like to be reminded about how lucky they are.
Respectfully, it seems like you didn't take the following comment to heart.
> You sound pretentious, hence why you don't inspire VPs enough to follow your projects. For that purpose, being skilled in SWE is barely important comparing to relational skills. It's time to question yourself.
Instead you deflected, re-asserting your internal monologue of: it's not me, it's them. It doesn't matter what your backstory is if you're not likable. That isn't a judgment on your character -- you may be a wonderful person and friend. Likability is a skill that can be learned, and one that is arguably more important than any software skills you may have (as you may have implicitly observed).
Cause you posted a nihilist, negative message with no details at all hoping someone would ask you “what’s wrong?” or “what happened?”. Just write want you want people to know without the attention seeking.
Now I tried it and don't see the reason to. I mean there is no rush. Regular house/flat will give you 80% of value of multimillion dollar mansion will give. Cars are all +- the same given that you can drive only so fast. Travel when you need to work is too hectic but if you are retired it can be very inexpensive. In order to push past this middle level it is not clear what to do i.e. difference between 1M and 10M is not that big in terms of your lifestyle but ability to accumulate so much is completely different beast.
The true happiness comes from other things: friends, family, free time, the business you love, curiosity etc.
UPD: This is all of course if you were able to get into good career/small business path. If you are stuck with some low-pay job you still have some work to do to jump to another industry.