[marto1]

It feels to me like you're somewhat missing the issue. You have a lack of trust issue due to your self proclaimed reclusiveness.

Begin outside of your work. This will help drop the inherent fear of material security. Take a look at your relationships. List them out if you need to. Choose the ones you feel comfortable improving in some way. And here comes the important part. Promise yourself you're going to make it better and as soon as possible promise to someone you respect you're going to improve it. This will keep you accountable.

Depending on how it goes and where you are right now it might take a couple of years so be patient. At some point your experiences will more or less auto transfer to work. Aim at creating trust by e.g. organizing events, even remembering a birthday might help. Good luck!