[grasshopperpurp]

>I endeavor with all of my awareness not to be that to my son, ever.

I relate to your entire post very well, but this particular point is one of the reasons I still keep in touch with my dad. I had to overcome some issues that - I believe he caused - and growing up was often painful because of him. But, he was there. So many times, I would say, That's clearly the wrong way to do that. I'll never do that. He didn't have that. It would have been really nice if he smoked a blunt and chilled the hell out, but I think I'm a lot better off than he was - having no example to learn from.