[sterlind]

(I'm on the spectrum as well) We do well with rules. If you have a concrete set of rules of conduct, give it to him, and warn him when he violates them. If he keeps screaming, watching videos during meetings, etc. then loop in HR to get him fired. Being autistic isn't an excuse to be an asshole, it just means we need help on social cues and stuff.

[adreamingsoul]

(Also on the spectrum) Rules might help, but the behaviour op described sounds like something much more complex. Almost as if they have experienced some trauma.

With guidance and learning we can cooperate and work well with people.

[smt88]

They can't loop in HR. It's another student, and the school can't do much about it because of the risk of a lawsuit for discrimination.

[scottlamb]

This is true only if the school administrators are cowards. The law doesn't say that people on the spectrum can behave abusively to their peers. It doesn't say they can't be fired or expelled or otherwise removed for such behavior. It certainly doesn't say that they can't have the rules explained to them as a gentler step prior to removal. School administrators being afraid to do anything involving someone like this is cowardice that we shouldn't excuse.

Fortunately it's easy to deal with cowards. You just have to make them as afraid of you as they are of him. I'm not a lawyer, and I don't know the laws for a classroom situation, but in a workplace I think you'd have grounds to sue. This other student is creating a hostile environment, and they are perpetuating that by forcing you to work with him without taking corrective action. If I'm remembering my workplace harassment training correctly, not only can the company be liable but also the manager in question individually. They can't afford to ignore such complaints.

I think as a first step, I would take the grandparent's suggestions for dealing directly with the other student. If that doesn't work—promptly—get your complaints to the school in writing with the complete history. If they don't address the problem promptly, threaten to sue. They'll back down. It probably doesn't even matter what the law actually says. Just a remotely plausible, explicit threat of a lawsuit will win over the implicit threat they feel when dealing with someone in a protected class and motivate them to find a solution that avoids anyone suing them.

[smt88]

> This is true only if the school administrators are cowards. The law doesn't say...

It doesn't matter what the law says.

"Autism-spectrum student sues [college] for discrimination" is a bad headline, even if the school was 100% justified.

It's also expensive to fight in court.

> School administrators being afraid to do anything involving someone like this is cowardice that we shouldn't excuse.

It's more an issue with the massive and insane costs of litigation.

> I'm not a lawyer, and I don't know the laws for a classroom situation, but in a workplace I think you'd have grounds to sue.

Workplaces have different protections than classrooms do.

Also, no one is saying the other students can't sue the student who's on the spectrum. But it's not something the university is likely to push themselves.

[scottlamb]

You're making my point with every sentence. The University doesn't want headlines like "U of WTF condones classroom screaming" or "Student Sues U for Abusive Workgroup". When it comes down to it, the other student's parents likely don't want his name and behavior in any of these stories either. Bad for job prospects. The person acting with integrity is the one with the least to fear from press or the legal system.

Again, I'd first try explaining the rules to the other student as another commenter suggested. But the University has a responsibility to step in if that doesn't work. I would remind them they have more to fear from failing to act than from acting properly. I likely wouldn't actually sue—as another commenter said, students don't want to deal with that. A private threat is likely enough, and certainly a story in the press would do it.

[smt88]

> You're making my point with every sentence.

No, I'm not. You're treating your own ethics as being universal and absolute. I don't agree with all of your implied premises.

In a vacuum, defending the harassed students would be ethical. But it isn't a vacuum, and the university has a responsibility not to burn cash (or brand value) on lengthy legal battles that only affect a small minority of students. A large public school in the US could harm literally 100,000+ people (with degrees completed or in progress) just to spare a few students from an unpleasant project.

> But the University has a responsibility to step in if that doesn't work.

Yes, they do. That's a much milder assertion than your original one. "Stepping in" does not immediately mean a lawsuit, disciplinary action, or expulsion. It probably means the professor would just ask the student to complete the project alone.

[scottlamb]

Please don't put words in my mouth. I made the point that they are not legally prevented from even expulsion, but I never said that should be their first step. There are plenty of ways of solving the problem. Their current approach, denial, isn't one of them.

[spindle]

Probably a student does not have time or the emotional resources to do all of this! But I totally agree with you in principle.

[scottlamb]

Making a threat is easy. I agree carrying through would be a big deal, but I don't think it's necessary.

[rhizome]

Tolerating disruptive behavior is not a reasonable accomodation.

[ganSo]

Thank you for your advice. Next meeting I will try to talk to him and set a few rules of conduct. Hopefuly we'll all get along better.

[mjburgess]

Is your classmate aware that he's autistic?

I would send an email to the disability service at your university highlighting his likely need for support. He isn't going to be able to complete university without it.

[bitwize]

Rule #1: To reinforce group cohesion and identify who is truly "one of us" and who is an interloper, the rules are subject to change at any time without prior notice or approval.