[BTCOG]

What I have really mentally struggled with during the pandemic is this existential questioning of "What will I think, looking back at my life if it turns out I have a shortened life and what I have to show for it is that I've just sat at a computer 10+ hours a day my entire adult life?" This questioning has made me fully doubt everything. I certainly am not living life to the fullest as I'd always dreamed that I would. There's always the promise of retirement, savings, and traveling blah blah after your 50s/60s, but you can't do anything fun at that age(arguably, where I'm coming from here) and there is no promise we'll even be alive next year. Feel like I'm tricked into working my life away on stuff I do not care about any longer and spent so long to get here. Now I'm trying to switch to things I actually enjoy doing and figure it out. But, what if?