[beardyw]

My wife and I have reached an age (1 month apart) where death has become “when” rather than “if”. My mother, father, and three siblings have all died around an age I am rapidly approaching. My sister experienced a similar death to this, she was given only months to live. Others have died suddenly and without warning. My wife has already lost a brother.

So between us we talk sometimes about which of us will die first. Of the two of us my wife thinks I would manage best if left alone, I definitely think the opposite. Would we stay in the house we have lived in for 30 years? Should we move now into a place more suitable for one person? But what remains largely unspoken is the sheer pain we can anticipate in being left behind. Part of me would want to go first to avoid that, part of me wants my wife to avoid it. There is no good outcome.

So when I read this article I read between the lines. He says how much he will miss smiles and hugs from his wife. But I know he will be crying out in his heart for her grief, and the smiles and hugs she will be missing, not just now, but probably every day for years to come. And his children. And all who know and loved him.

It’s a personal thing, but I don’t think we will take anything with us, not even memories. And history will certainly not remember me. And I have written no books. So what do most of us leave behind? Only our place in the hearts of those who have known us, and how we may have, possibly inadvertently, affected their lives.

So TLDR – your footprint will be the shape of how you treated others.

[lcall]

Fwiw, I have learned for myself that we can be with our beloved family members forever, if we and they want, and do what is needed for it. All the best. (slightly more in my other comment on this page; thoughtful comments appreciated with downvotes...)