[_ykl9]

Agreed. I think it's a major issue in political discourse when people begin to identify with labels and slogans, and treat them as prescriptive (ideals to be adhered to) rather than descriptive (approximate reflections of one's current general beliefs).

Surveys consistently show that most of us agree on far more than we disagree when questions are phrased in politically neutral terms. People quickly realize when they actually talk to other people that most are fairly reasonable and relatable, even if they have good faith disagreements on particular points, but social media being optimized for maximum engagement with shallow/short-form discussion just results in seeing the most extreme elements of society talk over each other and largely fail to come to a common understanding.

[ddingus]

I put this to a test over a couple years of business travel.

While bringing up a field service group, I had a period of high travel taking me all over the US. I enjoy politics, culture and people and am frequently frustrated with the left - right, very tribal political discourse myself.

So, what I did was find coffee shops and any other events where people might gather and enjoy conversation and had a bunch of chats avoiding labels while also conveying a strong, no judgement, just interested in perspective from different parts of the nation...

Those looked kind of like a two way interview.

Many of those ended up being long, gratifying conversations too.

Based on these, I would submit the following:

People fear judgement.

People fear "that other tribe"

An awful lot of discourse is fear, blame and shame.

eg: teaching "those other people" a lesson

How could anyone tolerate "that other tribe"

You get the idea.

Outside of those conversations, which all told me the US has poor class awareness and with that, equally poor ability to see others as just peers, instead it is all colored in various ways that amplify differences despite the reality being we are all people who run the same basic way, have the same basic needs, struggles.

[jfengel]

I associate coffee shops with certain kinds of people. Not universally, of course, but enough to wonder if you were seeing a restricted set of people with whom you were better able to hold those conversations.

You mention other events, so perhaps I'm totally wrong here. But I'm curious about the ways that the events you picked may have shaped the conclusions that you drew.

[ddingus]

Totally fair.

No, it was in line at the market, hanging in the park, the driver on a longer drive in a cab, Lyft, janitor, trades people...

What I did was just be opportunistic. Tried to fill some of the time I had learning more about how to just talk with people and have them feel they can do the same.

I had biases, mostly targeting normies and people who looked like they may have a story, rough or not.

What I can also tell you is I have done this sort of thing in my past. It is a simple pleasure of business travel.

What I did differently was avoid signaling "my camp", and tried to signal seeking more than anything else. If they were inclined to talk at all, I was frank and said I want perspective outside my familiar circles, so what is your take on... and go from there.

Sometimes I did not offer mine at all, content to let them share what they thought a curious person from somewhere else might want to know.

The primary thing I was interested in was arriving at a comfortable dialog state, like when you know it won't come back to bite, or be on the news, that sort of thing.

And the things I put above inhibit reaching that state.

[ogennadi]

Was there anything surprising to you? Any viewpoints more common than you previously thought?

[ddingus]

Yes!

This one surprised me the most, but people are just tired. Like fried.

Many put a brave face on it, but could use a break. If the chat advanced to where one could really relax and just talk, being tired always came up. And many did not express sadness, just fatigue, sometimes frustration.

"Does it all have to be this hard?"

In my past, I do not recall that expressed as much and from more diverse socioeconomic positions. This sentiment may be majority held now. Just a gut take on arguably small and unscientific samples.

"The Reset" The idea of it all not being sustainable. If it went here, people would roll through examples that concerned them. Some would make connections, but the general feeling of impending doom was far more common than I expected. I am sure more people than we know do not believe things will work out.

And one last disturbing one is along the lines of trading safety for liberty. Tons of people could give two shits about the increased surveillance. More people than I expected harbor and will express basic fear when comfortable enough to share it.