[klyrs]

No, the death of a parent (depending on one's relationship) can be incredibly devastating. It is certainly appropriate to bring that to work, because it will almost always impact one's performance.

Is it strange for folks to talk about a newborn child, or marriage at work? Conversely, what about infant death or divorce? Can you bring your "whole self" or just the good news?

[war1025]

> Conversely, what about infant death

Now that I have kids, I think back every now and again to when I was in high school and my math teacher's wife miscarried fairly far along into the pregnancy. Looking back, I'm sure that was absolutely devastating for him, but as a class I don't think we gave it a second thought.

I feel bad about that. Kids just have no concept of how big a loss that is. Hopefully the staff was more sympathetic about it.

[stevecalifornia]

You are right, I didn't write out my intention clearly. People should bring life experiences like that to work-- probably shouldn't keep a scorecard though.

[klyrs]

> probably shouldn't keep a scorecard though.

Maybe, maybe. I agree with a cousin comment, that this is more of a canary than anything. I posted the whole of his letter at the top level, in large part to examine how much of his letter you're fixating on. Turns out, it's a very small part -- and he spends equal time on other public notices, and you've left that point unaddressed, so I'll expand on it.

In grief, one's loneliness is deafening, even when surrounded by loved ones. When this internal loneliness is accompanied by external loneliness, the pain is amplified to a degree that I cannot express in words. To see extensive public adulation of minor accomplishments, the lack of compassion is drawn out in painful contrast. All this serves an example of "toxic positivity" -- of which he exemplifies through a clear anecdote -- which is one of several complaints he has about the organization.

[lmilcin]

I think it is one thing to "bring that to work" and another to expect condolences.

Weren't there truly any better reasons to resign? If no, then I think Harvard is really a good place to work.

[benjaminjosephw]

For an academic in a Divinity school, an uncaring but professional environment is a dead canary. It means something much worse than the lack of sympathy in that moment.

But, if that doesn't make sense to you, how about being systematically passed over for a promotion because of your political views?

It's hard not to see this as being a crappy place to work if you put yourself in his shoes.

[handrous]

I don't know if anything in the letter is true or accurate, of course, but that anecdote seemed to be illustrating a subtle point for people with better insight into his school than most of us have, and was definitely not the only reason cited (or else it really is just a weird thing to mention, which is possible, but, regardless, it's far from the only complaint)

[gilbetron]

This is about the public announcement and public reply to such an event. If you had a parent die, would you expect (demand, even) it to be announced in your company's newsletter and then have people publicly respond their condolences? Seems weird to me. Having been through the death of a parent, I (and others) let people know about it, and I received condolences and support privately, which I expected given the people were decent people, but doing all that in a public forum is weird and intrusive.