[Xc43]

She is saying more than that.

She is saying learn to confront discomfort/pain with self-soothing. Once you know how to address the pain associated with being seen as an inexperienced/disabled person, you can confront it in many situations.

Be it in learning from another or from a book.

Distracting emotions are part of you and have to be addressed eventually. Soothing yourself reinforces the motivation for progress and acknowledges obstacles.

"Pursuing X causes pain. It is alright. It is worthwhile. It is unavoidable and I will make due."

[twirligigue]

So the way to self-soothe is with self-talk? Are there any other ways?

[Xc43]

1)Yes, with a caveat. 2)There are no other ways.

There are no other ways because we humans are story machines. Among the many things we do, we consume stories and produce stories and that makes up our inner world. Story require words. Talking. Assisted self-talk would be therapy. There are no sustainable ways to soothing but words. Unsustainable are the use of supplements such as magnesium glycinate (to calm the mind), etc. All roads lead to self-talk. Therapy and Mg could be used as crutches to better self-talk. That written, self-talk should not be talked about without caveat.

The caveat is this: Self-talk can only change within your mind if you can conceptualize another kind of self-talk. Like a fellow answered your question, expanded awareness is key to make space in your mind, space for another self-talk. There is this technique called the Alexander technique whose purpose is expand your awareness. By expanding your awareness, by being able to think and feel those negative feelings and thoughts and think positive ones at the same time and gently steering your mind towards the positive you can achieve a new status quo in your mind. This require words and there also is non-verbal aspect to it. Words can come in the way of feelings if they are not embodied. For example, when you tell yourself "I want to..." or "I should not..." yet behave not as the words suggest, then that means you are not embodying your words. Also, self-talk ideally as a time component attached to it. Which is where it gets a lot of strength.

"I don't like this. (awareness of the current experience) But, it is necessary to get what I want (expansion of awareness, to include a desirable future). Therefore, this pain is a sign I am making desirable progress! (new self-talk)"

Whichever road you take at the beginning, therapy, supplements, meditation, etc, know the destination you seek is better self-talk. Embodied self-talk with a time component. Also please remember, the brain takes time to create new pathways. You might be able to achieve perfect embodied self-talk with a time component, but only consistency will make it easier and eventually automatic.

This is a link towards a teacher of the Alexander Technique, he talks about awareness in greater length: https://twitter.com/m_ashcroft

[twirligigue]

Thanks. I like his motto, 'Clear intentions, lightly held'

[erikpukinskis]

Meditation? My therapist is always encouraging me in uncomfortable moments to feel my body, and widen my awareness beyond narrative, into my senses.

Not sure if that counts as “self soothing”? But it helps achieve the ends OP is seeking.